Twisted Yarn

"where the hell did that boy go?" farmer john said, eating a piece of delicious bacon and scratching his head. he liked standing out on the back porch like this, where he could see his land stretching to the ends of the earth it seemed. he could see his pigs rolling around in their own crap (as pigs are wont to do), and cows lazily chewing their cud. that's a real nice mornin', he thought to himself, better find that fool boy of mine and git to wor- his train of thought was cut short by a blood-curdling scream. he looked towards the south field and saw jeremy running like a bat outta hell, buddy in the lead as usual.

"now what in tarnation's got into him?" he asked no one in particular.